Oh, you know. Ouija boards, and other stupid shit like that. You could go that route, if you really wanted to. Good way to scare the other girls at your sleepovers.

But, no, you have to...search for that sort of thing - really search.

Do research. Draw up maps. Hike around for hours, looking for anything that might be more than nothing.

[Holy shit does this ever feel good to talk about again.

[He's surprised by that. So surprised, in fact, that once he realizes he's feeling good, he promptly feels ten times more like shit in order to make up for it. Great job, Whelk.

[The wind effectively (and suddenly) out of his sails, he grumbles the rest of his little speech:]

You can search your whole life and find nothing worth mentioning. Jot that down too.